iHate
Yes, today I really do hate.
I've knackered my left knee. I'm tired. I'm miserable. I'm pissed off, and worse, I'm lonely.
All day today I've been treated like shit. I never asked for that treatment. I didn't do anything to those for them to treat me like that. I was asking for them to do their job. How awful for them to be asked to do something that their basic training covered. Cunts.
I had a stack of papers the width of a house brick to photocopy today too. Fucking library, as in the whole building was closed cos it was water damaged. How can a major building in this city be closed and no one know about it? How can a large building be piss wet through? Was it made of cardboard??
In the end I wasted money going in to town only to end up doing it at a neighbours instead.
I went back in to town to post it, only to be verbally assaulted by three vulgar, ugly, toothless pikey bastards.
I was standing there at the bus stop waiting for the bus home, my headphones in my ears but my mp3 player not on.
I could hear them!
"Fuck me, look at the size of that cunt"
"Is that a bird?"
"Nah its a fucking mush in it?"
"Nah like that's a fucking massive bird."
"Fuck off. Cunt like that can only be a mush like"
At this point I turned around and told them "I can hear you ya know" they shit themselves. I went fucking mad, in front of all those people at the bus stop.
Some people waiting looked at me like I was a monster for reacting to these pikey bastards. I'm a 29 year old woman, whether they like it or not, I do not deserve to be insulted, assaulted, and verbally harassed by toothless smack heads and if I feel I am within my rights to defend myself I fucking well will!
I was gonna beat all three up too and show them what "a cunt like that" can do. They walked in to the safety of their youth hostel before I could have done it.
Youth Hostel! Says it all doesn't it?
I hate people like that. Judgmental bastards that don't even know me!
Is this how everyone thinks when they see me? No wonder I am single. People must think I'm an ogre or something, or a beast.
How exactly am I supposed to settle down with someone when people take me on first impressions and think I am a massive "cunt", "mush", or worse, an ugly ogre.
I am serious when I say, 100 years ago I would have been in a freak show.
Why is my height such an issue? People are threatened by it, but if they aren't threatened, they're disgusted. They think my height is part of my whole dike like appearance. Like I asked to be this tall? It was not my choice. I hate it. I Hate being this gargantuan girl. It makes my life miserable.
2 comments:
You shouldn't even care about what people you don't know say. They clearly have no better things to do with their time and people like that are better off being ignored.
Shallow people aren't worth anybody's time nor breathe nor thoughts.
You don't have to hear it though. It makes my heart sink everytime. I don't think you can say how it feel to have total strangers call you all the names under the sun, judge you, make cruel assumptions about you to your face.
Easy to ignore if it's not cruel. When it is, it's painful. It hurts. I cry all the time about it, even now. I should be used to it, I've heard it my whole life, you just dont get used to it.
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